


Regret and Shame Consume

by Honey_Malt



Series: Towards the Sun (TommyInnit Angst) [3]
Category: Minecraft (Video Game)
Genre: A DEAD BODY IS MENTIONED MULTIPLE TIMES, Dead Body, Dead TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF), Ghost TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF), Graphic Description, Mild Gore, Vomiting, tommy is dead
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-06
Updated: 2021-01-06
Packaged: 2021-03-16 11:40:23
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,299
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28581396
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Honey_Malt/pseuds/Honey_Malt
Summary: Dream is many things. Dream is a fighter and a warrior, having trained since he was old enough to balance a sword. Dream is a leader, willing to help his people as long as they follow his laws. Dream is strategic, knowing what to say and do to make people bend to his will. Dream is stubborn, willing to do anything to get his way. Dream is many, many things.And Dream is now a killer.~~~Dream's reaction to Tommy's death, and what he does next
Relationships: Clay | Dream & TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF)
Series: Towards the Sun (TommyInnit Angst) [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2059434
Comments: 6
Kudos: 379





	Regret and Shame Consume

**Author's Note:**

> It took awhile but it's here! Dream finally reacts to Tommy's death. This chapter was much harder to write than I thought it would be, plus the holidays kept me pretty busy, so it took longer than I had hoped. I'm working on the next part though, and I should have it up either at the end of this week or beginning of next week.
> 
> WARNING: TOMMY'S BODY IS DESCRIBED AND MENTIONED MULTIPLE TIMES. IF THIS MAKES YOU UNCOMFORTABLE, SKIP TO THE NOTES AT THE BOTTOM

Dream is many things. Dream is a fighter and a warrior, having trained since he was old enough to balance a sword. Dream is a leader, willing to help his people as long as they follow his laws. Dream is strategic, knowing what to say and do to make people bend to his will. Dream is stubborn, willing to do anything to get his way. Dream is many, many things.

And Dream is now a killer.

~~~

It isn't like he hasn't killed before. He has. Many times. It would be impossible to get to the position of power he is in now if he wasn't willing to fight for what he wants. But the thing is, Dream has never permakilled somebody before.

Dream has never permakilled a child before. 

It makes Dream feel sick, some unknown emotion rising up his throat as he watches Tommy's body fall. Some deep buried, naive thing in him suggests that maybe Tommy survived, maybe he's fine, but the tiny spark of hope vanishes as Tommy gets closer to the water. Sunburns run down Tommy's face and arms, blistering and glowing a horrible red color. His body is limp, his limbs flailing, trident no longer in his hand but falling beside him. There is no way Tommy is awake, and on the off chance he is alive, there's no way he won't snap his neck from an improper water landing or drown before Dream can reach him. 

There is no way to save TommyInnit.

Dream throws an ender pearl anyways, running into towards the water to try and get enough momentum to swim to Tommy when the pearl hits, to somehow save the boy who had no interntion of being saved. 

But Dream has never been the best swimmer, and by the time he reaches Tommy, it was clear that he was already dead, and probably had been since he began falling.

It takes everything in him not to throw up at the sight of the body. The trident floats away and disappears long before he has the courage to even move again. It takes him even longer to gather the strength to pull Tommy to the shore, and he has to stop several times to keep himself from crying or vomiting. By the time they reach the beach, it's sunset and mobs are beginning to spawn. Dream knows he has to hurry, get Tommy to shelter because if anything else happens to Tommy, Dream might just lose it. It takes less time to throw Tommy over his shoulder and run to Logstedshire than it did to pull him in from the ocean, and they make it there with no problems.

Except for the fact that Tommy is dead and Dream is stuck with him. 

And maybe Dream is worse person than he thought he was, because it is only now that he lets out a choked sob over a boy who he had no right to mourn for. Dream cries for the boy he once saw as a younger brother but began to see as a challenge, as something to beat, something to win, and Dream cries because it took the permadeath of a child for him to remember that life isn't a game or a challenge, and how had he forgotten that, how had he become such a monster, how had he let himself go so far, why had no one stopped him, why hadn't he listened to George and Sapnap, and god Tommy fucking Innit, the strongest and most amazing person Dream had ever met is dead because of him.

Dream cries for what could have been but never will be because TommyInnit is dead and it is all his fault.

~~~

At one point during the night, Dream falls asleep. Well, passes out may be a better word. When he wakes up, the sun is rising, the mobs are gone, and Tommy has not moved.

And maybe that's what breaks through the remaining shock and exhaustion, as Dream comes to realize he just spent the night in a house with the body of the boy he broke.

Dream is unable to resist vomiting this time.

~~~

Dream manages to collect himself after taking some dry heaves and choking back more sobs. It takes him half an hour, but he does it. He fixes his mask and smooths out his hoodie, and looks at Tommy's body with the growing horror that he has to get it back to L'Manburg.

He's going to have to pick up Tommy's body.

Logically, he knows he already did this once, it should be easier the second time, but for some reason it is so. Much. Worse. Just walking up to the body makes him want to break down again, but he owes Tommy so much for ruining his life and stealing all his deaths. So, he gently picks up Tommy's body, and stands up, holding him bridal style. He breathes in one more time and walks outside. He passes the ocean on his way towards the portal and he pauses at his reflection.

He looks stoic, uncaring, and normal. His mask is hiding all evidence of his emotions, and the thought sickens him. For the first time in years, he wants to take his mask off. His mask, his safety net, what hides his thoguhts and panic, the thing that had helped him through so much...

He rips it off and hurls it into the ocean.

And he steps into the portal feeling heavier than ever before, Tommy's body cradled carefully, eyes and cheeks red, and without a mask.

~~~

It's early when he arrives in L'Manburg. Nether travel is fast, and most people will just be waking up at this time in the day. It almost relieves Dream, as sickening as it is, because he doesn't want to see anyone right now, he wants to crawl under a rock, he wants his mask back so badly, but he needs to tell Philza and give him Tommy's body. Despite everything, Phil was Tommy's father, and he deserves to know everything.

He still hesitates to knock on the door.

But eventually he gives in, because he knows it will be worse if he and Phil don't talk in private, if he has to explain everything to everyone right now, so he knocks loudly on Phil's door and goes back to cradling Tommy, some part of him trying to hide what he's done. 

The door opens.

"Hello-"

Phil seems to cut himself off, eyes widening as he sees Dream without his mask. 

"Dream? Where's your-"

"Can I come inside... I have- I"

Phil finally seems to notice that Dream has something in his arms, and even with Tommy's face hidden and his body curled up, Dream sees the second Phil recognizes his youngest son.

"...What did you do to Tommy."

Dream flinches at the tone, because Phil is upset, and that may lead to anger, and a pissed Phil means a dead Dream and he needed to tell Phil what happened.

"He had a trident Phil, and he was upset about the party, no one came, and he's been off for a while but I thought he would be fine, I don't even know if it was an accident or- or if he did it on purpose, and I tried to help but I didn't know what to do and now Tommy is dead."

There's a pause as Phil's eyes widen and fill with tears and Dream losens his grip on Tommy as Phil reaches shaking hands out for the body.

"Tommy is dead." Dream repeats. The winged man before him crumbles, pulling Tommy's body into his arms, shaking and sobbing, before letting out a heartbreaking cry as he holds Tommy close Phil screams. Phil screams for his youngest son.

**Author's Note:**

> Summary of the Chapter: Dream retrieves Tommy's body, has a mental breakdown, throws away his mask, and brings Tommy's body to Phil
> 
> ~~~
> 
> We have reached the angst and pain. Gotta say, I really debated on who's pov to do for the next chapter, but decided to go back to Tommy. So the SMP member don't react yet, but soon :) Also, Dream is very out of character, but I wanted to make him less of a villain so this happened. Also, I had no idea what to title this so have a generic angsty title I guess. Anyways, please let me know if I made any mistakes in the comments


End file.
